Respecting and accepting each other makes life easier for everyone.
~Interview with a friend I met at "Prism" #02~

I'm a part-time worker now, having graduated from university. I'm planning to take the medical school entrance exam next spring, and I'm attending a preparatory school. My sexuality is FtM*2.

I'm a second year university student. I'm studying LGBTs and psychology. I can't generalize about my sexuality, but I consider myself pansexual*3.

It started last November.

We met at Prism and started dating six months later.
I didn't think I'd be able to date anyone or find someone who would accept me as transgender.

I brag to my friends that I have a boyfriend who is FtM. He's unconventional, but I'm happy, and I've told all my family except my dad.
Everyone listened to me carefully, didn't make it seem special, and just said things like "I'm glad you've got a boyfriend."
In our brothers' LINE group, we also send stories and photos of fights we've had with Ponzu-kun.

Come to think of it, I met Non's mother when she came to Tokyo.

They accepted it normally.

Every time I went home, I would talk about Ponzu-kun, and my mother wanted to meet him.

When I was in high school, I tried to find out from my dad what he thought about homosexuals, but he made some discriminatory remarks...
I wonder if my thoughts haven't changed even now.
Even though he's my boyfriend, I have a girl's body, so I don't want him to say anything, and I feel bad about making him hear it, so I haven't told my dad yet.

I was like, "Wow! Congratulations!" (laughs).
I'm grateful that people around me have responded positively to it.

I think the people around me are the ones who are more accepting of them, so I think the reaction of Ponzu-kun's people is more typical. Neither of them are rejected by the people around them, so there's no need to be told to be more accepting.

That's true. However, I had some worries when it came to introducing it to people around me.
No matter how accepting my family and friends may seem, I was worried that while a heterosexual person might easily say, "I have a boyfriend or girlfriend," when I introduced Ponzu-kun to them they might wonder, "What gender is he?" or that they would have the strong impression that I was a child with gender identity disorder rather than seeing me as a person.

Since then, I've felt aversion towards sex and have been telling people around me that I might be asexual*4.
Yet, I find it painful when people ask me things like, "Why did you choose someone who doesn't have any sexual aversion to you as your boyfriend?" and associate dating with sex.

When we're riding the train together, people often offer up their seats for us and we look at each other with big smiles on our faces, so I think they think we're a normal couple.

When we went to Hokkaido together, I made the hotel reservation using my real name, so I was given a cute pink yukata...
I was a little confused, but I realized it couldn't be helped since I didn't know.

I don't like it when people say things to me so blatantly, but since there are more people who don't know their own sexuality, I think there are times when I have to put up with it to a certain extent.

I saw people on the internet saying that they were given unpleasant looks, so at first I was very wary, but in reality that wasn't the case. Many of the couples I know seem to be happy.

The manager at the store where I work part-time also told me, "If you have a FtM boyfriend, people around you might say something," but I think it's fine to treat us as a normal couple.

Sometimes I find myself wondering if Ponzu-kun is actually a girl on family register and if we will ever get married, but I just feel like I'm dating a normal boy.

Because the two of them are normal.

They understand my concerns without me having to explain them in detail, and we can get things done quickly.

We can also have serious conversations.
Even if the topic has nothing to do with sexuality, there are times when I'm like, "It's okay to talk to Ponzu about this."

It just came to me rather than me being looking forward to anything specific.
Looking at the overall atmosphere, it feels like this year is really exciting.

It's also been featured on television, and I feel like things have changed in the last few years.

That would have been unthinkable two or three years ago.
The other day I saw on the news that there was an LGBT event this weekend, and I was impressed by how it was covered as if it were a regular news item.
It feels like things that were previously considered taboo in society are now being removed.
When I became a university student, I thought I would never be able to find a job, but now I can see hope.

I feel like people are trying to get to know each other these days.

When I was talking about LGBT with a friend, he said, "There are parades in Yoyogi Park, aren't there?" It was the first reaction I'd ever had, so I was happy.

It's Wakayama.

Even in big cities like Sapporo and Osaka, there are very few.
In some areas, the prejudice is so bad that it's almost difficult to breathe.

Even if you try to meet people from the same sex minority, they are only found in big cities, so students in rural areas may find it difficult to make friends. That was the case for me.
I decided to go to Tokyo because my homeroom teacher encouraged me, saying it would be an easy place to study LGBT issues, and I had met people there on social media, so I felt like I had a place to belong and that everything would be okay.

When I was in my second year of high school, I was worried that maybe I was falling in love with a girl, so I came out to my closest friend, and then to my mother.
I also tell my close friends at university.
I think people think, "This guy falls in love with girls too," and they probably don't even pay him any attention.

I didn't tell anyone, and I didn't want to tell anyone.
I hated living as a woman and couldn't accept my sexuality.
I didn't want to think of myself as transgender, but after I started going to a gender clinic*5, I was able to come to terms with myself.
Gradually I began to understand what I wanted to become, and I joined a club because I wanted to interact with more different people.

I would never say this to someone who makes phobic*6 remarks, and I don't want to say it to people who are prejudiced against people with disabilities or who attack minorities of any kind.

There aren't many people who directly make discriminatory remarks, but there are people who make them into jokes.

Me too. But I had teachers say things like "You two are so close, are you gay?" or "You're a transvestite" all through elementary, middle, and high school.

Recently, teachers have been taking courses from NPOs and it seems they are also trying to change.

I believe that if the educational field changes, society as a whole will change.

When I ask for something, I have trouble knowing how far I can go and where it becomes selfish.
When I was looking for a part-time job, I told them that I wanted to wear a man's uniform and work under an alias, and the store manager understood, but headquarters did not give permission.
There are many countries overseas that have advanced systems in place, so I hope Japanese companies will also do their best.

It seems that LGBT issues are increasingly being covered in company training, but this can sometimes make it difficult for people who are in the closet*7 to be there.
Some people think it's easier because they won't be recognized, and although we're all lumped together as "LGBT," everyone feels differently, so I think it's difficult...

When I was interviewed by a company, we talked about whether it was okay to treat LGBT people differently. I suggested that, rather than treating LGBT people differently, we should treat them as just one of many attributes, such as race or religion.
Also, since it was a venture company, they didn't have a system for when they got married yet. So I suggested that they should introduce both heterosexual and same-sex marriage systems. I hope it will be an opportunity to think about the problems that everyone has at the same time.

It was great last year!
I had just moved to Tokyo last year, and met a lot of LGBT people.
I thought I was surrounded by sexual minorities, but when I returned to school I really felt that I was a minority after all.

When I leave the venue, it feels like the world is just as usual.
Yoyogi Park feels like another world and it makes me sad.

Rather than asking for any specific action, I would like people to be more mindful of their awareness and words.

I think Japan is particularly harsh towards minorities, for example by prohibiting people from working if they have a disability.
I believe that if we respect and accept each person's individuality, regardless of their sexuality, we can create a society where everyone can live comfortably.